You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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