Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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