i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
