The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
