Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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