if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this just has baby written all over it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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