Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
