We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just google imaged poop.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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