dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
