Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
