Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
