I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
