I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
