he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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