better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Will exercising make me less horny?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
