Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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(703): View more from Virginia

She's allergic to latex.

(678): View more from Georgia

Lucky bastard.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.

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(802): View more from Vermont

He's yummy.

(613): View more from Ontario

HE'S GAY. AND 40.

(802): View more from Vermont

Irrelevant.

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(760): View more from California

I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.

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(512): View more from Texas

Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again

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(727): View more from Florida

So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.

(813): View more from Florida

You deserve it, you colossal cock block.

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