yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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