so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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