Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize