i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
