do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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