hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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