508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
