It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize