It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Quick, to the slutcave!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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