Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
