how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
