Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
