Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
