we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
