If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
