I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
