Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize