eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
