If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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