You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
