Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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