She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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