we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize