so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
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Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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