worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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