Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
