Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
