You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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