Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
