Already got asked if we're dating
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize