One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
