Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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