sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
