you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
