If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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