I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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