we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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