I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just forgot I was standing up.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
