"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
