The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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