Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
