I think i peed on brittanys purse
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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