I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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