No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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