My balls are so social today.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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