so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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