The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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