We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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