Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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