haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
