The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
