Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
