I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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