Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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