That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
